What Are Little Boys Made Of? (Quotes/Reflection)

As I was reading through this article my mind was going off in SOOOO many different directions, I loved it!  For me it was a relatable article and I thought that really helped me understand the points being raised.  I felt that the article was trying to say that boys are violent, aggressive, obnoxious creatures who do not really show emotion due to this ‘code of silence’.  I chose a few quotes that I thought were the best representation of what the article was about.

In the beginning of the article there was a quote about the infamous nature vs. nurture debate:

Ø  “It’s nature not nurture that propels boys towards obnoxious behavior, violence and sadistic experiments on insects.  What makes boys boys is, in a word testosterone, that magical catch-all hormone that drives them toward aggression and risk taking and challenging this fact gives them the message…that boyhood is defective. (157)

After reading and rereading this quote I kept thinking, what do boys my age (college students) think of this?  So I decided to ask! I asked a few of the most important men in my life what their opinions were.

My dad and both of my friends believe that behavior, violence, aggression etc is a product of one’s environment.  They all had similar reasons: how you were raised, who you associate(d) with and how the men in your life behave(d) all contribute to your behavior. 

My Boyfriend on the other hand thought it was both genetics and environment.

I personally think it has a lot to do with environment.  If a boy is brought up in a violent environment or has aggressive parents, all he is going to know is violence and aggression which will probably lead to him acting out—obnoxious behavior.  I’m a firm believer that boys and girls are a product of their environment.

 For as long as I could remember I’ve been considered “one of the guys”---not because I liked “boy things” but because of my behavior.  I’m not big on emotions and feelings and all that crap haha.  I hung out with the boys more because I couldn’t take girls crying and being all emotional.  So When I read the quote:

Ø  “Culture of cruelty imposes a code of silence on boys, requiring them to suffer without speaking of it…”(158)

I immediately wondered what my guys thought.  My guys firmly believe that this ‘code of silence’ does not exist.  They all believed that men should always express themselves and their emotions.  I found this interesting coming from a group of 20 year old guys.  In my personal experience(s) I haven’t known of too many guys who are willing to just put their emotions out there for the world to see.  I feel that society (and myself too I guess) sees emotions as a weakness almost.  Society has this idea that men are supposed to be strong enough to hide their emotions, they’re not supposed to feel… thus living in this ‘code of silence’

My friend B is the complete opposite of me.  He is in total favor of emotions, he doesn’t believe in this ‘code of silence’.  He believes that men should never have to hide their feelings and should always express how they feel.  He gave me an example—he said his dad treats his mom like a princess (lucky her!) and always reminds her how he feels about her.  He said that when he is in a relationship he makes sure that there is no ‘code of silence’ that he always reminds his significant other his feelings without being ashamed. 

My friend J pretty much agreed with my other friend.  He 100% believes that men should always express themselves. He thinks that guys should always show respect, for women, men & well, everyone!  He believes that guys should always stand up for what’s right.

My boyfriend of almost 3 years believes that people, not just men, should always express their emotions (that’s probably why we have such a difficult time communicating :p)  He agrees with my other two friends that this ‘code of silence’ is just something else to make men look bad and that guys do have feelings and can show them.

The last quote I chose was the ending paragraph:

Ø  “Feminists imagine, and demand, that men (and boys) can do better.  Feminism offers the possibility of a new boyhood and a new masculinity based on a passion for justice, a love of equality and the expression of a full range of feelings.” (159)

I thought ending the article like this was perfect.  Feminism is giving men the opportunity to be that loving-emotional-do what is right – kind of guy without being completely isolated out of society.  Men like this do in fact exist, right now they are rare but hopefully someday they won’t be!

SIDENOTE:

-When I first read the title of the article I immediately thought of the nursery rhyme with the same title---What Are Little Boys Made Of? I thought it was fitting because this rhyme was written in early 19^th century & even then there was a battle being fought between the sexes!